If you've kept up with this series, you'll know that each playlist has a backstory. Every month is different from the previous. Not just in terms of season but, for me, in terms of the experiences I've had and my mindset during that time of the year. September was a bit of a jumble for me. I tossed all my cards in the air, tried my best not to plan too into the future which made me worry a bit extra, which added more stress into my life. Overall I was big emotional mess, coming to terms with the fact that maybe I wouldn't achieve all the big goals I had set for myself since I was little and trying to enjoy the little things in life. This spurred on a little weekend vacation in the hills of Coorg, my safe haven where nothing can touch me. Coorg is one place where you will see people working as much as they can and being happy with what they have. They are content with what they have. Must be the clean mountain air and home grown coffee that brings that level of peace to a person's heart.
This month, I was in need of an emotional cleanse. I still haven't completely accepted the fact that life hasn't turned out the way I've wanted it to and maybe that has been my fault in some way. Maybe there has been something holding me back, keeping me for going places and realising my worth. Until that day, I'll have the music and the memories of fresh coffee, clean mountain air and the daydreams that I refuse to let go of when faced with harsh reality.
After that rather long life update, I'm going to move on to the music. If you think I'm insane. remember that someone quite smart and famous once said that most great people are. There's some hope for people like me after all!
Betwixt by OMN
I found this a long time ago and this is a recurring favourite of mine. That being said, it made more sense to me now in my current state of mind than it ever had before. It's a soothing ambient sound with a single line of lyrics repeated over and over again. "I don't think I can." That's something I've said my entire life. But the same words set to a very optimistic yet soothing sound did something else to me. It cracked the moss covered wall around the softest part of my heart and let me accept what I had become. They say the first step to recovery is acceptance, and at 23 I think I'm getting closer and closer everyday.
We'll See the Sun by Houses
I cannot stress how perfect the lyrics to this song are! It's everything everyone feels at some point in their life. Like you're all alone and you don't know how to deal with that. Like you feel like no one will understand what you're going through even though, unbeknownst to you, everyone else is probably feeling the same way. The entire song pretty much voices every single insecure thought you've ever had and have never told anyone. The bridge lights up in a more positive tone, reassuring you that everything will be okay.
This is the song I listen to when I'm down. Those times when I can't even talk to the people closest to me. When I need some reassurance from the world that I will not waste away my life by wilting and fading into nothingness. I want to amount to something, and everytime I feel like I wont, there's this song to pick me up again.
17 by Youth Lagoon
Play this as you read what I have to say about it. Now imagine driving through the mountains with greener than green coffee estates on either side with light scattering through the tress creating a kaleidoscopic effect on everything. That's the moment that I truly feel alive. Until then I'm just walking the Earth because I have to not because I want to.
This title reminds me of the stupid things that bothered me when I was 17. Looking back, I'd give anything to go back to that time. I'd do so many thing differently if I were seventeen again.
England by The National
I don't know the lead singer's name but I love his voice! It sets the mood of their music. It's all a bit moody and grey and I think that's fitting for rainy England. The lyrics don't particular resonate with my thoughts but the mood it sets is something that I love. I love the gloomy weather and the rain. It's a lot more comforting than the heat and the sun.
Running Up that Hill by Placebo
Running Up that Hill by Placebo
This is my all time favourite song by Placebo. It's a cover of Kate Bush's song but I love their version better. I feel like it's more honest but has a tinge of something evil that draws me in. It has the signature Placebo sound to it. I can never skip this song when it crops up on shuffle but I felt the need to include this in at least one playlist. Lucky September got to be the month that it's going to be listed under in the history of this blog.
That's all for September! I know there aren't too many but that's because I didn't feel like any of the other songs on my playlist were specific to September as much as these were. There will be more next month but if you need a constant fix of new music, maybe you should take a look at my music blog.
Thanks for reading!